Bombs Away? Don't Blame Those Tits

Nubile Nyphm Johansson
Originally uploaded by Phalanx.

Have you seen the biggest movie bomb in recent memory The Island? Probably not, 'cause that's why it was a stinker!

Movie doesn't too much redeeming about it, except for the visual beauty of Scarlett Johansson.

Apparently that was the problem with the movie... according to the DreamWorks producers, who have blamed big-breasted, DSL Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor for the critical-mauling its received. Producer WALTER PARKES and his wife LAURIE have used their website to stage a vicious attack on Johansson and McGregor, claiming their half-hearted efforts have resulted in a poor reception for the high-budget sci-fi epic.

See, now I thought it was because the story was SHIT, and the directing was more concerned with the explosions and fancy camera moves than with character, dialog and dramaturgy... I guess my criteria for a good movie is different.

And Johansson's talents take the biggest beatings, with the husband and wife team claiming a television actress could have done a more professional job. They write, "Listen those are superstars of the future, not superstars of the present. Even lesser television actresses, quite honestly would have more connection to that audience."

The only thing that kept my eyes from collapsing was watching Scarlett's tits bounce around in a skin tight outfit... not that I'm a crass misanthrope, but everything else about the film (from the man who brought us THE ROCK and BAD BOYS) was at the end of the incoherent, inconsistent and insulting.

Why did the movie seem like a bad rip of LOGAN'S RUN (which is being remade)? When the majority of the dialogue spoken by Johansson is "run." You have to question the integrity of the movie.

Although, Parkes & MacDonald no doubt overpaid for Johansson and McGregor -- two actors who have never been in films that trulyl captured the broader public's eye/attention -- and that's unforgivable, because her fees is boosted for studio projects when she's not proven her value in the marketplace. Everything outside of Lost In Translation hasn't done well (i.e. made more than $100 million in the US).

Hmm... more piss-poor planning by Hollywood, right? No wonder people have been staying away from the movies this year.

It's not over yet, and it doesn't look any better.