Jacko goes on trial this week. Goddamn! This is the trial of the past decade and the current decade, as Michael Jackson should have gone down in the early '90s for his perverse penchant for prepubescent boys (are the majority of pedophiles men who want to butt-fuck little boys? I don't hear about women kidnapping boys and raping them or kidnapping little girls either? Is pedophilia an affliction for men only?)
I speculated on my old blog that whoever went to trial first between Kobe Bryant and Michael Jackson would get off, while the other would be become a two-hole tool for a slew of prisoners...
In the pre-trial comedy of Jacko's trial we've seen quite a bit, nothing as hilarious as the Defense Attorney's laptop being stolen. I wonder if that was a ploy to gain more time.
If I was Jacko, I'd stage a kidnapping where I was forcibly taken from a limo at gunpoint and then whisked away to a foreign locale. Then have an Iraqi Insurgent style of ransom deman video tape released to the media. Eventually, I would "break loose" from my captors and flee -- but I wouldn't return to America.
A well-thought out plan (with a lot of fucking kinks in it), but at least it would save me (as Jacko) from wasting what little fortune I have left on legal fees.
Stay tuned, because the trial starts tomorrow - in this bitch!
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